The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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