Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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