Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
