so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
did i walk over a car last night?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
