it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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