I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
