am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
