in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
