I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
