he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
