Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
