it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize