While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize