so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
