Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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