I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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