I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I did not marry a roomba.
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