Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My penis needs a shock collar
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
