i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
