she kept yelling 'call me bella'
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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