he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
