im gay
i know
yea but for you.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
