Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
