But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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