Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
