just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
