Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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