I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
