ya dads aren't the best wingmen
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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