And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
