do herpes really smell.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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