My liver just broke up with me...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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