I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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