Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
