"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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