It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i drank out of a bidet.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
