Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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