I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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