He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
