just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
