I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
