I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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