yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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