D3 body, D1 cock
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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