can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
