Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
