smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
