Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
