You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Small penises have feelings too.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
