i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
where are my eyebrows?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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