what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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