he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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