Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need moral support for this bender
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
