Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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