saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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