All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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