Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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