he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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