I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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